Hirám Gandía Torres, ’20
The Spanish Kid
As a Puerto Rican male, I take a lot of pride of my culture. I am proud to say that I was born and raised in Puerto Rico, and my childhood experiences are something that I will forever treasure. However, my first experience in the Worcester Public School system was being bullied by a group of older kids for being Puerto Rican. I was called many names that were offensive, I was pushed around, and a couple times punched in the stomach while making my way to the lunch room. From that experience, I would ask my 4th grade teacher, Mr. Torres, if I could have lunch with him instead because I didn’t want to see this group of kids. I was always very studious, and back then I was a much smaller kid who would carry around a little yellow Spanish dictionary that my grandfather gave me as a welcome-to-the-U.S. gift. So in a sense, I guess I was an easy target for this group of kids who, shockingly, were very diverse, with a mix of white, Latino(a) and black kids. Mr. Torres advised me to seek help from the school principal, and I did. She knew exactly who I was due to my high math scores. He made the effort to personally talk to these kids. This only worked for some time until I had to take matters into own hands by training in boxing for self defense and avoiding encounters. This was my first-ever experience in Worcester Public Schools, an experience that made me believe I did not belong in this society because others my age did not accept the fact that I was entering their world, and the grown-ups’ efforts were not enough.
The physical bullying was one that thankfully simmered down as the years passed and I continued to become an athlete. Yet, English not being my primary language led to many other situations within the bullying of the school system. By “bullying of the school system,” I refer to the idea that every child is supposed to be held to a certain standard in order to be good enough to take the advanced courses and receive the various opportunities given by the institution. One of my experiences was the very first time I took the MCAS in 4th grade. I was called a “cheater” by the test prompter who was not my teacher, Mr. Torres, who knew what I could do. This happened because I had my little yellow Spanish dictionary the day of the exam, and I needed it to understand what some of the questions asked me to do. My level of English reading was not at all sufficient for this exam. I remember I simply ended up making patterns with the bubbles of the exam that we had to pencil in. Later, I went home to cry to my mother and grandfather because I would never see my dictionary again and I was embarrassed in front of my classmates.
Continuing my educational journey, my English improved to the point where now I could test well and take better courses that only focused on standardized testing. However, I still had a very strong accent. From my accent, diction, and the way I would express myself, I had many teachers and administrators tell me that I was not speaking correctly. I had magnificent ideas for the science fairs and story compositions, but I never had the opportunity to showcase them because I could not speak English “properly.” I was told once that Spanish was getting in the way of my success and that I needed to stop thinking in Spanish if I wanted to be successful in the United States. Frantz Fanon, in Black Skin, White Masks, argues that speaking properly in reality means to speak like a white man. That is exactly how I felt when faced with the fact that I had to focus on making my English better, rather than showing everyone my composition and STEM abilities and bettering myself in those. From observing the other white kids and kids who were born here, I do not think they understood what it was like to get an idea rejected because it was not presented properly, while they received their awards and accomplishments. When I graduated high school, I received one award: the Spanish award from the Spanish department which was a $50 gift card to Olive Garden; on the other hand, a white kid received the award for mathematic academic excellence, which was a $1,000 check for books for his first college semester and expenses.
Being a first generation college student means that my socio-economic level is not the greatest. I am now in college, and I feel like sometimes I am the only one who has to balance two regular jobs and one work study position on campus, to get by and be able to continue my education here. There have been times where I can physically not do any assignments because I am still feeling the effects from overnight and overtime shifts. If I were to have the same financial blessings as some of the students next to me, I believe I could be the top of my class in this institution. However, the purpose of this point is not to complain about my personal financial situation, but simply to say that my experience in education is one that has always had a job tied right next to it. Since turning sixteen I have been employed, holding various positions, simply because it has been mandatory to provide for my own education. I feel that perhaps the biggest difference from my educational journey to others is that they have never had to work in factories and in unskilled labor in part-time jobs that pay just slightly over minimum wage, just to be able to pay for school supplies on top of tuition bills and various fees. I agree with DuBois on his ideas about finances; I would also say that if a higher percentage of finances were dedicated to resources for students who share the same story as me, this country would be amazed at how many minorities would show how capable they are to perform in a classroom—and even outperform others. I am blessed, because though I always needed a job, I was also able to take advantage of college access programs like Dynamy and Bottom Line. They helped me learn about how to properly plan for college and balance academics with work in order to succeed and get better opportunities. If more programs like these were better funded, many great things could happen in education.
Given my experience up to now, I realize that there is a lot more that I still need to learn. My story is one that shows a lot of disadvantages for me as a student. Yet, I am grateful for it, because it has shown me the value of being different. By being different, I work harder and always have something to prove to someone. But it is through this that I find the ambition and strength to prove to society and myself that I am more than capable. My experiences have shaped me into a man who sees the necessities of the educational system, and I hope one day I can be amongst those who have the power to change it.
The Spanish Kid
Only the power that springs from the weakness of the oppressed
will be sufficiently strong to free both. Any attempt to “soften” the
power of the oppressor in difference to the weakness of the oppres-
sed almost always manifests itself in the form of false generosity;
indeed, the attempt never goes beyond this.
-Paulo Freire
will be sufficiently strong to free both. Any attempt to “soften” the
power of the oppressor in difference to the weakness of the oppres-
sed almost always manifests itself in the form of false generosity;
indeed, the attempt never goes beyond this.
-Paulo Freire
In France they say, “to speak like a book.” In Martinique they say “to
speak like a white man.”
-Frantz Fanon
speak like a white man.”
-Frantz Fanon
Our wealth today is, we all know, distributed mainly by chance inhe-
ritance and personal favor and yet we attempt to base the right to
education on this foundation.
-W. E. B. DuBois
I’m from a traditional Puerto Rican household, which means my culture, my language and my socioeconomic status are the cornerstones that sustain everything that I am. My parents did well enough in high school to get by. They were both expected to work and bring some sort of income to help out in their homes. Unfortunately, college was not an option for them. As a first generation college student, I am grateful for my parents’ hard work as I constantly looked to them for inspiration to continue my own journey. Around the time I turned nine years old, my family and I moved to Massachusetts from Puerto Rico. While in Massachusetts, I was enrolled in the Worcester Public School system. My identity as a Puerto Rican primary Spanish speaker of a low socioeconomic status exposed me to bullying from classmates and the educational system. Though some of my negative educational experiences put me at various dis-advantages, they also gave me a greater view on who I am and what I could do to surpass the ideas of failure society may have had for me.ritance and personal favor and yet we attempt to base the right to
education on this foundation.
-W. E. B. DuBois
As a Puerto Rican male, I take a lot of pride of my culture. I am proud to say that I was born and raised in Puerto Rico, and my childhood experiences are something that I will forever treasure. However, my first experience in the Worcester Public School system was being bullied by a group of older kids for being Puerto Rican. I was called many names that were offensive, I was pushed around, and a couple times punched in the stomach while making my way to the lunch room. From that experience, I would ask my 4th grade teacher, Mr. Torres, if I could have lunch with him instead because I didn’t want to see this group of kids. I was always very studious, and back then I was a much smaller kid who would carry around a little yellow Spanish dictionary that my grandfather gave me as a welcome-to-the-U.S. gift. So in a sense, I guess I was an easy target for this group of kids who, shockingly, were very diverse, with a mix of white, Latino(a) and black kids. Mr. Torres advised me to seek help from the school principal, and I did. She knew exactly who I was due to my high math scores. He made the effort to personally talk to these kids. This only worked for some time until I had to take matters into own hands by training in boxing for self defense and avoiding encounters. This was my first-ever experience in Worcester Public Schools, an experience that made me believe I did not belong in this society because others my age did not accept the fact that I was entering their world, and the grown-ups’ efforts were not enough.
The physical bullying was one that thankfully simmered down as the years passed and I continued to become an athlete. Yet, English not being my primary language led to many other situations within the bullying of the school system. By “bullying of the school system,” I refer to the idea that every child is supposed to be held to a certain standard in order to be good enough to take the advanced courses and receive the various opportunities given by the institution. One of my experiences was the very first time I took the MCAS in 4th grade. I was called a “cheater” by the test prompter who was not my teacher, Mr. Torres, who knew what I could do. This happened because I had my little yellow Spanish dictionary the day of the exam, and I needed it to understand what some of the questions asked me to do. My level of English reading was not at all sufficient for this exam. I remember I simply ended up making patterns with the bubbles of the exam that we had to pencil in. Later, I went home to cry to my mother and grandfather because I would never see my dictionary again and I was embarrassed in front of my classmates.
Continuing my educational journey, my English improved to the point where now I could test well and take better courses that only focused on standardized testing. However, I still had a very strong accent. From my accent, diction, and the way I would express myself, I had many teachers and administrators tell me that I was not speaking correctly. I had magnificent ideas for the science fairs and story compositions, but I never had the opportunity to showcase them because I could not speak English “properly.” I was told once that Spanish was getting in the way of my success and that I needed to stop thinking in Spanish if I wanted to be successful in the United States. Frantz Fanon, in Black Skin, White Masks, argues that speaking properly in reality means to speak like a white man. That is exactly how I felt when faced with the fact that I had to focus on making my English better, rather than showing everyone my composition and STEM abilities and bettering myself in those. From observing the other white kids and kids who were born here, I do not think they understood what it was like to get an idea rejected because it was not presented properly, while they received their awards and accomplishments. When I graduated high school, I received one award: the Spanish award from the Spanish department which was a $50 gift card to Olive Garden; on the other hand, a white kid received the award for mathematic academic excellence, which was a $1,000 check for books for his first college semester and expenses.
Being a first generation college student means that my socio-economic level is not the greatest. I am now in college, and I feel like sometimes I am the only one who has to balance two regular jobs and one work study position on campus, to get by and be able to continue my education here. There have been times where I can physically not do any assignments because I am still feeling the effects from overnight and overtime shifts. If I were to have the same financial blessings as some of the students next to me, I believe I could be the top of my class in this institution. However, the purpose of this point is not to complain about my personal financial situation, but simply to say that my experience in education is one that has always had a job tied right next to it. Since turning sixteen I have been employed, holding various positions, simply because it has been mandatory to provide for my own education. I feel that perhaps the biggest difference from my educational journey to others is that they have never had to work in factories and in unskilled labor in part-time jobs that pay just slightly over minimum wage, just to be able to pay for school supplies on top of tuition bills and various fees. I agree with DuBois on his ideas about finances; I would also say that if a higher percentage of finances were dedicated to resources for students who share the same story as me, this country would be amazed at how many minorities would show how capable they are to perform in a classroom—and even outperform others. I am blessed, because though I always needed a job, I was also able to take advantage of college access programs like Dynamy and Bottom Line. They helped me learn about how to properly plan for college and balance academics with work in order to succeed and get better opportunities. If more programs like these were better funded, many great things could happen in education.
Given my experience up to now, I realize that there is a lot more that I still need to learn. My story is one that shows a lot of disadvantages for me as a student. Yet, I am grateful for it, because it has shown me the value of being different. By being different, I work harder and always have something to prove to someone. But it is through this that I find the ambition and strength to prove to society and myself that I am more than capable. My experiences have shaped me into a man who sees the necessities of the educational system, and I hope one day I can be amongst those who have the power to change it.